Standing in one of the biggest shopping centres in Newcastle, a woman was speaking to a man and was frequently pointing towards the cashier. The woman’s long gown and tight scarf attracted the attention of me. The woman’s name was Sadonia, who was 24 and came to the UK from Kurdistan region of Iraq in 2011. She has resided in Newcastle ever since.
A mother of one year old son, Sadonia was asking the man who happened to be her husband, whether it is possible to exchange a dress she had bought with another one from the store. The reason why she was anxious, was not because she was unable to tell the cashier herself, but she was unsure whether it was possible and right, to exchange an outfit. To her, judging what is right or wrong remains sometimes difficult even after three years of staying in the UK.
To have to suddenly deal with new people; to speak to strangers of a different language that you do not speak or understand; to be uprooted from your environment to live in another one and a new culture that you do not fully comprehend… all of this can generate mixed feelings. That was a brief account of what living oversees is like for this Iraqi woman.
Niaz and Sadonia
"To adapt to a new environment might not be so difficult, if you are psychologically ready. But I came with lots of sorrows."
Adapting to a different culture, people, and even harsh weather was an agonizing experience for Sadonia in the early months of 2011. She recalled the time she was standing at a street corner staring at the houses, the buildings, the streets, the numerous traffic signs, and stranger than any of those was that the cars were "driving the wrong way".
The only one Sadonia knew in the UK was her husband. But the young husband was and is working all the time and this has made her feel incredibly lonely. “I had just my husband to talk with, but he was busy and I didn’t know English to speak with my British neighbours”. But she promptly added that the language was not the only barrier, but that everything was new.
Sadonia says she always tries to find ways to integrate herself into this host society. She has her husband at her side as the only person who encourages her to do so. Since she moved to Newcastle, she has started to take up an English course at one of Newcastle’s English colleges.
The English lessons have enabled her to meet friends from different nationalities. She, however, complained that the relationships between people here is not 'warm' as in her home country. "I used to have many good friends that I could share my thoughts with.”
She still attempts to improve in all aspects of her life, but she has faced some problems. One example is she finds it difficult to go shopping on her own.
Unlike Sadonia, Niaz, another Iraqi Kurdish woman who has been living in the UK since 2012, has not been able to make any friendships with any British person.
When she came to the UK, it was the first time in her entire life that she had travelled outside of the home country. During the whole of the flight to the UK, she was crying. "To adapt to a new environment might not be so difficult if you are psychologically ready. But I came with lots of sorrows."
But her relations are now confined to her family and the small Kurdish community in Huddlesford. That does not mean she does not wish to connect with her neighbours, but in her opinion she does not have the ability to make friendships since she does not master the English language well.
Niaz says she failed to catch up and learn the language as she has been busy since giving birth to her son 11 months ago. Niaz and her husband have made up that "social gap" by visiting their friends.
Niaz is ambitious to improve her English and integrate herself into British society. “I know my language will be better if I take English course and I am pretty sure I will do that”.